April 03, 2017 in: Moving loved ones to assisted living ,
One of the most difficult times in people’s lives is to make the choice to encourage their parents to move into assisted living facility. When it comes to broaching the subject people often shut down. It is such a touchy subject they hesitate to open the door for discussion. Many seniors believe they will care for themselves for the rest of their life and become more averse to the subject as time goes on. While opening the conversation is extremely difficult, children and other family members are essential in taking the lead and influencing change.
Beginning conversations earlier leads to successful conversations and outcomes. The communication becomes more comfortable as all parties have had time to process before the need becomes critical. Get the groundwork laid so that terms like “nursing home” or “assisted living” become more comfortable and negative segments are addressed.
Regular conversations about what the future holds are crucial. Make it your problem and not theirs. If it becomes a bossy situation parents often turn as they are the ones who have managed you and brought you into this world. Show them that you care. Rather than saying “you have to do this,” we encourage you to express concern. Instead say “Mom, I am concerned about you; I am losing sleep thinking about your being alone all the time.”
Avoidance can guarantee undue stress and family conflict. On the other hand, open and honest communication and taking the role of their advocate raises chances of success. Parents do not want to burden their children and have a tendency to hide difficulties or health issues from them because they do not want to scare their children. Showing genuine concern for their well-being can make all the difference.
When a parent refuses to entertain the idea of moving professionals encourage to back off for the time being. At the same time, do not give up. Seek opportunities to approach the topic and test the waters before pushing further. Be persistent but not aggressive. It will pay off in the long run. This is a process and for most people, it will take time.
Unfortunately, sometimes things have to get worse to get better. It may take a fall, a bone breakage or forgetting to pay the electricity bill to help the child realize that the parent can no longer safely remain living alone. At this point, it is important to bring in the professional troops to help parents come to terms that this is the best decision and does not mean the end of their life.